Hi my name is Rob Kowalski, thanks for visiting my site. I like to refer to myself as a reformed bad boy. Born and raised in Baltimore, Md, my mother got pregnant with me at the age of 14; she raised me with an 8th grade education without any help from my father. Growing up with a young mother and no father in the picture in many ways I raised myself and taught myself how to be a man. From the time I hit puberty I guess you could say I was “girl crazy”. Most of my decisions were based around whether it would help or hurt me with getting girls. When I was 15 years old I found a video tape my mom and her friends had rented of male exotic dancers. I decided right then that I too wanted to be a male exotic dancer. It’s comical to me now but it’s true. While some kids dream of being cops, engineers and bankers, my aspiration was to be a stripper.
When I was 19 years old my four year dream of becoming a male stripper came true. I worked my way up the ranks, and went on to work for every agency in my hometown of Baltimore. I joined a Male Revue and traveled up and down the East Coast doing shows. I guess you could say I was the original Magic Mike. When I was 25 years old I began throwing parties in nightclubs. By the age of 26 I was making real money with weekly events in Baltimore and Washington, DC. My life was a party and I was getting paid pretty well to do it. Lots of sex and late drug-induced nights were par for the course. Until one day at the age of 27 I had a life-changing encounter with Jesus Christ, and everything began to change.
In March of 2000 God called me. Sounds crazy right? Imagine how I felt. I rarely ever thought about God up until that point, I was too busy having fun. But there He was letting me know He had a plan for my life and asking me to trust Him.
My life changed drastically. I committed myself to following Jesus and making better decisions, like saving myself for marriage and cutting off all the friends I partied with. Quickly I went from being popular party boy to home body with no social life. I began attending church but outside of that I had a hard time finding people I enjoyed hanging out with that could support the good decisions I was beginning to make. Most of the people I met in church were too stuffy or just plain weird. I liked the principles of loving each other and being there for each other, but many of the people I met hadn’t lived the life I lived so our interests were different, so I stayed in a lot. This went on for 6 long years.
So after the better part of a decade of trying to be a good Christian boy I got burnt out. I wanted to enjoy life with people I could relate to again so I started going to the only places I really knew to socialize and find other people like me - the bars. I was 32 years old ready to have some fun, be around some girls, and have a social life again. I had abstained from having sex for 6 years so I felt strong enough to handle the new freedom I began to give myself. Yeah, let that sink in for a moment, 6 years. To say I was determined to wait would be a gross understatement. But I was craving relationships and was ready to meet people and have some fun.
Going out on the weekends to the bars, it didn’t take long for me to start picking up all my old bad habits. For the most part, I became the exact same person that I had been prior, except now it was worse because I knew better. In 2011 after making a good mess I rededicated my life to God. I got plugged into a great church and began volunteering with them regularly and I started to like myself again, the only problem was life got really boring. I couldn't find things to do or people to do them with, so I wound up staying in a lot by myself again just trying to avoid trouble. I knew from my previous experience that sheltering myself wasn’t a long-term strategy for success.
So for selfish reasons mostly, I started putting fun things together to do on the weekend, pretty much anything to get myself out of the house that wouldn't cause me to screw up. Because the volunteering I was doing through my church was feeding my soul, and because many of my new friends weren’t “religious” and didn’t attend church; I started looking for worthwhile causes for them to get involved with too. When I found them, I would promote them in the same way I promoted the social events and people jumped right in. They began to experience the same benefits that I was getting. In doing all this I formed some really great friendships with different dynamics from my previous friendships I had in my clubbing days. These were real, down to earth, imperfect, normal people that I could relate to. We were hanging out together, having fun on the weekends, and serving the less fortunate as often as we could. The fun we were having, unlike the fun I had before, didn’t produce regrets in the morning. We all supported each other and genuinely wanted each other to succeed. We were making positive changes in ourselves and in each other, and in time we started to believe that with enough of us we had the power to change the world. That’s how the group I co-founded CityFam was born.
At CityFam we believe that in order for a person to reach their full potential they need a community that will inspire & encourage them as they do the hard work on themselves to get there. Now, I'm passionate about finding other people like myself and helping them navigate the road ahead to become their best selves.
Living at the extremes that I have teaches you some things and I enjoy sharing what I’ve learned as often as possible. I hope you come on the journey with me.